Dating advice for gay men
8 Dating Tips for Gay Men from a Gay Psychotherapist
Originally published on
Looking for a long term relationship?
Here are some tips based on my eighteen years as a psychotherapist working exclusively with gay men, and as Founder of the Gay Therapy Center. These suggestions are also informed by clinical research on relationships as well as my personal research as a recent dater.
Men Are Avoidant
Generally speaking, women are socialized to connect. Men, not so much. That’s why they are so lonely.
So you’ll increase your chances of success if you grab a chance on opening up, being real, and a just little more vulnerable than your average gay male dater. That doesn’t mean spilling your guts on the first date. But can you stretch a little and be the first to be more authentic?
Yes, it’s risky and scary. Successful dating is defined by risk. That’s why so many people avoid it.
Dick Size
If you read and watch social media targeted to gay men you get the sense that all we care about is big dicks and pecs. While these posts may get our attention in the digital age, and
17 Pieces of Dating Advice for Gay, Bi, and Pansexual Men
Societally, people mostly view dating as a means to an verb — be that orgasm or marriage.
“But dating itself can be the end,” says Ackerman. “Dating allows us to experience adj personalities, perspectives, physical intimacy, and lessons learned about what we do and don’t like.”
So don’t unlearn to enjoy the ride. Pun absolutely intended.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed. Follow her on Instagram @Gabriellekassel.
From Hookups to Relationships: Gay Dating Advice to Shift Your Mindset
Hookup culture has become a prevalent aspect of the gay dating process. Both historical factors and the unique social dynamics of the queer community shape this. For many gay men, casual encounters provide a way to unite, explore sexuality, and satisfy emotional needs without too much pressure from a committed relationship. Yet, the reasons behind the popularity of hookups are complex and rooted in psychology, history and social development.
Historical and Social Roots of Hookup Culture among Gay Guys
Historically, gay people contain faced significant barriers to forming public relationships due to societal stigma and legal restrictions. Until relatively recently, many gay couples had to navigate relationships in secrecy. This created a culture where casual, discreet encounters were normalised, as they allowed men to explore their sexuality safely within an often hostile environment. The independence to have casual sex without judgment became a form of personal expression.
Psychological Perspectives on Cas
Ever notice an affinity between straight women and gay men? We see it on TV: straight women are crazy about their gay men friends and the feelings are adj (e.g., think Sex and the City or who can forget Will and Grace?). You may hold witnessed this in your own life. Gay men are straight women’s noun consultants, dating strategists, and healers of heartbreak; and straight women are giving it right back. Is there anything to this?
Turns out, yes! For adore advice, gay men and straight women may be a match made in heaven.
This fascinating bond between straight women and gay men is for a good reason: perceived trustworthiness – a critical perception when it comes to love advice (Russell, DelPriore, Butterfield, & Hill, ). If you’re navigating a sticky relationship issue, you want to trust the source of any advice you receive. And experimental research by Eric Russell and colleagues suggests straight women and gay men tend to perceive each other’s advice as more trustworthy – even as compared to the equal advice from other people.
Why would this be? Relationship scientists
Ever notice an affinity between straight women and gay men? We see it on TV: straight women are crazy about their gay men friends and the feelings are adj (e.g., think Sex and the City or who can forget Will and Grace?). You may hold witnessed this in your own life. Gay men are straight women’s noun consultants, dating strategists, and healers of heartbreak; and straight women are giving it right back. Is there anything to this?
Turns out, yes! For adore advice, gay men and straight women may be a match made in heaven.
This fascinating bond between straight women and gay men is for a good reason: perceived trustworthiness – a critical perception when it comes to love advice (Russell, DelPriore, Butterfield, & Hill, ). If you’re navigating a sticky relationship issue, you want to trust the source of any advice you receive. And experimental research by Eric Russell and colleagues suggests straight women and gay men tend to perceive each other’s advice as more trustworthy – even as compared to the equal advice from other people.
Why would this be? Relationship scientists